New Year’s Eve – Film Bl-Eview

New Year’s Eve – Film Bl-Eview

There haven’t been many movies that have centered on New Year’s Eve. And there’s a good reason for this. That reason is you get movies like New Year’s Eve. It is pants.

But here’s what doesn’t add up. If you search for reviews online about this movie you will notice the following trend: 99% of critics have scored it at around 1 out of 10. Whereas the public have scored it around a 5 or even 6.

How did this happen? Is the palette of the general movie going so easily satisfied that they’ll eat and enjoy any old chicken dinosaur? I’d like to think not.

My explanation as to why this movie has scored an inordinate amount of ‘LIKES’ is:

END CREDITS BLOOPERS

Put end credits bloopers at the end of ANY movie regardless of the quality or subject and people will walk out thinking they’ve just watched a pretty good ‘fun’ movie. It worked on me. I walked out of that cinema with a smile on my face and a spring in my step.

End Credits Bloopers is like being zapped by a Men In Black Neuralizer.

You could have just watched a movie with the words The Klumps and a number in the title  starring all of the Kardashians which may have stunk worse than a flaming turd but End Credits Bloopers would have Febreze’d that turd and hung a Pine Tree air freshener on it. Mmmmmm. Fresh. Job done.

Though sadly when the Neuralyzer and air fresheners wear off. It’ll all come back to you.

So what are you left with?

Well, New Year’s Eve is a ‘mosaic’ of more than a half dozen stories intertwining (ie slammed together like a 3 year old with build-a-bricks) on New Year’s Eve in New York.

The movie feels like when I’m at home watching TV and doing my usual thing of ‘watching’ 6 different shows/movies  at once. The difference is at home I’m watching 6 things I LIKE, that have interesting and fully fleshed out characters, great writing and a decent story.

There are so many stars in New Year’s Eve it’s nuts. You get a little numb to it after a while. It’s like eating Raisin Bran. You’re excited bout the one or two raisins you get in the first spoonful you eat. After the 3rd spoon?  Meh.

Particular things that bug me about NYE:

  • Jon Bon Jovi’s practically playing himself – and HE is the supposed to be the biggest thing in America musically amongst all ages AND going out with       (almost 2 decades younger) ?! Smells of someone backing out of the role and they grabbed JBJ off the bench.
  • The amount of product placement is unreal. It’s EVERYWHERE. “What would you like to drink sir?”  “The usual … Disaronno and cranberry on the rocks”.   REALLY?  Who’s usual is that?!!

You can experience the same schmulzzy, celeb infested, cheese fiesta that is New Year’s Eve by cutting up pages of Hello magazine (including the ads) & Hallmark cards and sticking the mess all together on a whiteboard.

So I’d skip this movie. Or if you must – watch something else in the cinema then sneak into the New Year’s Eve theatre during the last 5 minutes to catch the bloopers.

Posted by on December 06, 2011 in Film Bl-Eviews
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